Best Techniques for Finding Peace
Since the introduction of the iPhone in 2007, the relative speed that information travels has increased ten fold. Prior to the iPhone, the television dominated as the primary way information traveled. Of course cell phones existed in the years leading up to the iPhone, but the “smart” in smartphones has changed the way we live immeasurably. Each of these devices brings an incredible set of tools right at our fingertips. We can text, call, endlessly browse the internet, order pizza, beer, set up dates, and envy our friends through social media, all in a device slightly larger than a pack of cards. The speed of the world does not allow much time for peace.
The Dark Side of Too Much Connectivity
While these tools make our lives simpler, and more time efficient, they also have a dark side. The rise of the smartphone has also run parallel to the rise of social media. Narcissus would have dreamed of having an Instagram. Some remember a time before smartphones where social media was just a place you’d go when you had some time to kill on your desktop computer. Myspace ruled and Facebook had only just been an idea in a Harvard dorm room. Fast forward to 2021 and it’s clear that for most, social media has been a large part of their lives. It is impossible to be at peace with all of these “tools” requiring your attention.
Again, similar to the smartphone, social media has its advantages. You’re able to stay in contact with distant family members and friends in faraway lands, all from the comfort of your couch. The downside, of course, is that you may miss out on the events that are happening right in front of that same couch. I write not to criticize social media (though I am personally not a huge fan), but because in this world, life seems to move faster and faster.
Living in the Moment
Digital technology has driven us closer to distant friends, but farther apart from the closest ones. How many times have you been out at a bar or at dinner, and your family or friends are sitting on their smartphones? How many times have you been woken up at 10PM, hoping to get some early shuteye from a message from your boss asking you to get a report done by the morning? Or how many of you have been at a party and texting someone else about another party scheduled for that same day?
It’s never fun being on the other side of that conversation when the person with whom you’ve been speaking picks up their smartphone and texts someone else or checks their social media. It’s giving that subtle hint that you are not important to them. But don’t call them out, forgive them and move on. After all, it’s just the way things are now, and making someone else feel guilty won’t solve it.
If you’re reading this and you are the person who is checking their smartphone every ten minutes and has more than 4 hours per day logged on screen time, then this article is more directed toward you. I was that way for a while, and sometimes still catch myself reverting. More common with me now is overworking, and never putting down the work phone. It’s something I struggle with every single day.
1. Prayer and Meditation
The first step on your road to peace is prayer and meditation. There are millions of prayers and meditations to try. I try to pray a rosary daily (though not always successfully), but also sometimes try my hand at silent meditation too. God is the embodiment of love and peace, so that’s what I frequently pray for. If you’re new to prayer or meditation, just start off retiring to a quiet place and crossing your legs. Take some slow, deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this for about 15 minutes per day either right when you wake up or right before bed. Sometimes I even break it apart and do it in the middle of the day around lunchtime. That helps get the ideas flowing after lunch and stops the afternoon slump that many people experience at around 3PM.
It’s also important right before bed and when you wake up to take about 1-2 minutes to just think about the things in your life for which you are grateful. Waking up is the first thing for which I’m thankful every morning, and the last thing every night. Being thankful for your life and the opportunity to live it, is one of the most important habits you can get yourself into. Having gratitude for life and for the experiences that make up your life, makes life all the more worthwhile and helps shape your own world view in accordance with the truth.
2. Exercise
Every morning, after I’ve said my prayers and taken time to be grateful, I head downstairs and immediately start exercising. Exercise is an effective way to slow down, especially if you set aside a specific set of time to do it. My exercises are simple, but are effective in getting blood flowing, and getting my endorphins firing so I can take on the rest of the day. If I don’t exercise, I can feel it, and I get significantly more stressed and overwhelmed.
My personal exercise keeps me in pretty good shape, with a focus on heart health over physical strength (though that is important as well), and takes about an hour to complete a full cycle. These gurus online who say you can get a good workout in 10 minute may be true, but you need to set aside more time for your physical health, but also for your mental health. Taking the time to exercise properly allows for you to quiet your mind, while also strengthening your body.
When I do the first part of my workout, I almost never listen to a podcast or music. This allows me to just be at peace with my own thoughts and focus on the workout. When I do the cardio portion, I use that time to listen to podcasts. Below is the full workout. I am by no means a doctor or fitness instructor, so don’t try these unless you’ve consulted your doctor. This is just what works for me and my lifestyle.
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
- 100 Kettlebell Swings (25 lbs)
- 75 Push Ups
- 100 Crunches
- 50 Leg Raises
- 50 Oblique Crunches (both sides)
- 50 Supermans
- 50 Bird Dogs
- 100 Squats (25 normal, 50 weights, 25 sumo)
- Stretch
- 20 minute exercise bike HIIT workout
Tuesday, Thursday
- 100 Kettlebell Swings (25 lbs)
- 75 Push Ups
- 100 Crunches
- 50 Leg Raises
- 50 Oblique Crunches (both sides)
- 50 Supermans
- 50 Bird Dogs
- 100 Squats (25 normal, 50 weights, 25 sumo)
- Stretch
- 20 minute jog outdoors
Saturday
- Outdoor Activity (usually hiking or golf)
3. Walk Outdoors
For thousands of years, walking was the only way for humans for get from point A to point B. Cars have been an incredible invention, but like smartphones, have their drawbacks. One of those drawbacks is reduced mobility. People just don’t walk as much as in the past. While in the past, it was done out of necessity, the average person needed to schedule that time into their day as travel time from one destination to another.
For us, walking is primarily a leisure activity, though it is something from which everyone can benefit. My wife and I try to go for a walk a few times per week and while it gives us good exercise and peace, we’re also able to talk. Before my wife and I lived together, I would frequently go for walks on my own and either listen to a podcast, or just be alone with my thoughts. Before COVID, I would sometimes go for a walk during my lunch break, even in the winter.
Benefits of Being Outdoors
From my own experience, the three most obvious benefits from walking outdoors have been mental clarity, vitamin D, and another form of exercise that is good for the heart. I also like to walk around outside my yard barefoot. There are no proven benefits to this, but it definitely makes me feel more relaxed walking around the grass with no shoes on. It reminds me of my childhood and brings me closer to the Earth.
Vitamin D is one of the most important vitamins for your overall health. Most people in the world today are deficient due to lack of sun exposure. Being deficient in vitamin D leads to a generally weaker immune system, especially during cold season. I’ve gotten plenty of colds in my life, but I can say that when I make a point to get outdoors every day for at least 15 minutes of sun exposure, I’ve generally gotten less sick with the flu and colds than some of my friends whom I know stayed inside more.
4. Read
Every day, preferably in the evening, it’s important to pick up a book and read. As I mentioned at the head of the article, most people just pick up their smartphones after work, substituting one screen for another. Then after they’ve browsed their phones for a while, they watch TV, and then head to bed. This endless game of swapping screens definitely accounts for the incredible advancements in information sharing, but definitely doesn’t help one to have peace throughout the day. In the long term, this is detrimental because while you may not realize it, you could be going from one anxiety inducing habit (work) to another one (social media).
Reading has a ton of benefits aside from just learning about different topics. If I’m honest, I rarely read about things related to work. I’ve read some great books on leadership, but besides these, I’ve left my reading to be mostly recreational and philosophical. It’s important to separate yourself from the hustle and bustle of your work life, and diving into a good fiction novel or a biography definitely gives you a break.
Reading also gives you more time to yourself which is crucial for escaping the speed of everyday life. Even just 20 minutes of reading per day will significantly help reduce stress and get you close toward daily peace.
5. Have One Drink (or even a cigar)
It’s important to limit yourself to one drink per weekday if you are going to have a drink. If you are under 21, just go ahead and skip this section. The reason is simple. You are not trying to get drunk. Period. Having a drink at the end of a busy day, with dinner or a book always helps me to unwind. I don’t have one every day. On the most stressful days, I actually tend to avoid it since it could just make my day worse.
One thing that I recommend you stick by is the mantra that if you are not happy or having a good day, do not have a drink. I think back to a time in college when one of my friends broke up with his longtime girlfriend. He wanted to get completely hammered. And he did. The problem was, of course, that it didn’t make him feel any better. It just made him feel worse. Alcohol is a depressant, so if you are already feeling depressed, please do not have alcohol.
When to Have Alchohol
However, if you are feeling great, you’ve had a busy, but accomplished day and are feeling pretty good, a glass of wine goes a long way. For me, it slows down my heart rate and I usually take time to enjoy it. Once in a blue moon if I’m feeling especially accomplished and it’s the middle of summer, I’ll partake in a cigar. This normally translates to one per week or one per every two weeks, and only lasts the summer, but similar to a drink, it helps me slow down. I usually don’t look at my phone when I have a cigar or a glass of wine. I usually don’t watch TV either. Sometimes my wife joins me, although with her being pregnant, it’s out of the question this summer. The peace is found not in the strength of the drink, but in its context.
Conclusion
Two and a half hours is roughly the amount of time it takes to do all of the above things throughout the day. Generally, human beings are awake for about 16 hours per day. Eight hours are taken up by work, one hour generally by commute, and seven hours for personal time. In those seven hours, some time is devoted to eating and spending time with those that you love, but it’s not too much of a challenge to set aside just two and a half hours for yourself. I bet you already do; just check your phone.
I used to look at my phone for about four hours per day. That seems to be the habit for most people. By implementing the strategies above, as well as putting my phone on airplane mode after a certain time, I’ve brought that down to an hour and a half. That extra few hours has given me more freedom to do what I love. I have found peace in each day, by making my own peace. Inevitably, we are each going to pass on, and each of our clocks is different. Time is marching onward and you cannot take back lost time. At the end of your life, you should look back with joy at the time you spent, not browsing Reddit or TikTok, but spending time with the people whom you love, and doing the things you love.